So Sorry For Not Posting

    I havent posted for awhile cause I havent felt well.I found out reciently the reason why.I went to the dr. because my index finger was swollen at the knuckle,my knee was swollen and hurt and my feet hurt terribly.my Dr told me it was probably arthritis and had me go for blood work.My rheum test came out possitive so the didd more test which showed scleraderma.I had dark pigment on my stomach and back but never thought anything of it.I always had discolorations in my skin and was told it was lack of ortoo much malanin in my skin.It all makes perfect sense now why all the health problems.This disease is rare and Dr.s dont really look for it.They didnt put it all together.Everything I have read scares the crap out of me.I am trying to get in to see a rheumatolist who understands this disease and have to wait to get an appointment.I have developed more swelling and sometimes I can bearly walk.My energy is so low I dont even want to get out of bed somedays.Out of all the illnesses I could get this one has no cure.The Dr.s try to slow down the progression and treat the problems you have as they come along .It is a progressive disease .It will probably eventually if it hasnt already damage my internal organs .The kideys lungs and heart are usually the organs of choice for this disease though all are succeptable.Usually the lungs are what causes your death.It makes me mad and it makes me sad .I have always tried to be a good person .I have always tried to think of others first  .I always figured it was bad evil people who suffered terribly before death.I always figure thats the way it worked.My news year resolution is to always do what I can to be happy with what I have.I have my grandchildren that I cant bear to think of leaving.Well enough of the boo hoos.I  Will write whenever I can.I am sorry to put this in my blog but I feel pretty alone in this and my husband could care less.That is another story.